We moved into our house almost a year ago. This room is directly off of our bedroom.
When we moved here, we were gearing up for our first round of fertility treatments. As much as my heart yearns for a little girl, this room melted my heart when I first saw it. For the first time, I felt like I could actually be a mom of a sweet baby boy.
Fast forward a few months later during our “two week wait” and Trevor had nicknamed what we thought was our baby “Carlos.” He even started to look at baby things.
Calling him to tell him that our treatment has failed absolutely crushed my soul. We were confused and mad.
And this room has sat, pretty much empty like this since January. I tried having my desk up here and it didn’t work.
I tried turning into my glam room to do my makeup and all things girly but I couldn’t bring myself to hang anything on the walls or to transform it.
Now here I am and I know it’s time. I can’t keep living my life stagnant and obsessing over the what if’s.
I’m not giving up and I’m not losing hope. But I can no longer allow myself to not fully enjoy my life because of Something that is out of my control.
I took the opportunity to post a weekly video during the first round of fertility treatments. We did an IUI. I will post the links to the videos here:
Week Three is when I actually had the IUI procedure. I had acupuncture for the first time and it was amazing. I had slight cramping that night, but nothing major. Somehow the video didn’t have any sound.
Thank for reading and if you watch the videos, feel free to leave a comment!
Light, Love & Champagne