Starting a Self-Love Journey
For well over a decade, I have been having conversations with women just like yourself about this one thing. Before I even tell you what it is, I need you to know that in the decade plus I’ve been in the game, I’ve had HUNDREDS of conversations and no matter what the specific stories are, they all come down to this one thing:
MINDSET.
Every woman I have ever spoken to (yes, seriously) have struggled with self worth and self love. Can you relate? I bet you can.
We don’t think we are worthy or deserving of pouring into ourselves. We’ve been programmed to think that it’s selfish to care for ourselves before anyone else (or even worse, AT ALL). We put ourselves on the back burner and at the very bottom of the neverending to do list knowing fully well that we will never get to ourselves.
But I am here to shake things up and to change the narrative surrounding self care. We’ve all heard that we can’t pour from an empty cup, right?
Well I firmly believe that our cups are not meant to be poured AT ALL.
Not one single drop. Our cups are for us and us only. In fact, I did an entire podcast episode about this and it remains the number one downloaded episode for good reason. This is such a foreign concept for so many women, so if you feel this way too, you are not alone.
So the question then becomes, “Ok Jer, so now what? How do I even start to love myself more?”
I have 5 steps to help you start your self love journey.
1. Become aware of the thoughts you are thinking and feeding yourself on a day to day basis
When you walk pass the mirror are you pointing out all of your flaws or hyping yourself up?
If you make a mistake are you letting it go or are you beating yourself up about it all day long?
Once you become aware and conscious to the things that you are thinking and feeding yourself day in and day out, you can begin to reprogram your mind by reaching for better feeling thoughts.
2. Develop a practice that you can do day after day where you can show up for yourself so that it becomes second nature to you.
Just like you brush your teeth every morning, you do it whether you want to or not.
This can be 3 things you are grateful for, because you know I love gratitude, it can be an affirmation, anything that you can you do as a nonnegotiable.
It doesn’t have to be an hour long meditation if that is not feasible for you in this season.
Pick something that you can commit to do EVERY SINGLE DAY.
3. Setting Boundaries
Boundaries are the limits on which you will and will not tolerate and what you will and will not do. This essential for a healthy self love practice. Boundaries have gotten a bad rap, but in 2023, we’re bringing boundaries back.
4. You are the company you keep and you are also the content you consume
We are INUNDATED with social media and we are consciously and subconsciously taking in copious amounts of information, so we need to make sure that our feeds are filled with people who make us feel good. Don’t be afraid to block, unfollow, mute, delete, etc (refer back to # 3) any accounts that don’t lift you up.
5. Mirror Work
Now you could tie this in with # 2 and do your gratitude and affirmations in the mirror. Essentially Mirror work is staring at yourself in the mirror you can start with 1 minute and work your way up, and you pump yourself up.
When I think of mirror work, I always think of that scene from the movie Cool Runnings, (please tell me you know what I am talking about and that I’m not dating myself here) where Junior is getting hyped up. “ I see pride! I see power! I see a bada** motha, who don’t take no crap from nobody!”
This is a great time to play your pump-up playlist ( or listen to ours on Spotify)!